Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the disease.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the moment," he said.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's heading. We understand that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his immediate welfare, his family and getting ready for when the condition worsens.
"Possibly that's shock or perhaps I handle situations in another way, and once I have the details, it's easier," he stated further.
Initial Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the condition, a set of scans indicated neural pathways in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately extremely moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't sense ill. I don't experience unwell
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I remain able to accomplishing whatever I want. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Disease Advancement
MND can advance swiftly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and more than half within 24 months of detection, as eating and inhalation become harder.
Therapy can only retard worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's the grief around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Effect
Speaking from the residence with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he spoke about informing his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and began removing the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the focus was staying in the now.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be so intensely directed on just welcoming and appreciating all aspects now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really blessed that the sole determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Sportsman Connection
Professional competitors are disproportionately affected by MND, with investigations suggesting the incidence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the wider community.
It is thought that by reducing the O2 available and causing harm to neural pathways, frequent, strenuous exercise can activate the illness in those previously vulnerable.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, unwavering method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a practice confrontation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a tackle pad and started throwing himself into tackles.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the line-out in the crucial phase of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding field goal.
Assistance Community
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a few other ex- colleagues about his condition, but the others will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are available is the crucial thing," he stated.
"This game is such a wonderful family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it finished now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to consider your love your profession, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a time with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will want to assist in whatever way they can and I await having those discussions."
